思

这个假期，想了好多。

首先必须改掉一个非常不好的坏习惯。
每次答应要做到一件事，往往到最后都没做到。
说功课不要拖到最后一分钟来做，到最后还是这样，到最后都后悔死。
说一定要存钱，到最后还是因为贪玩，想要“享受生活”，吃了一餐又一餐。
说假期完之前要练好吉他基础，现在连最基本的还学不好。
说要天天早睡早起，开学前把身体补回来，天天都半夜睡到第二天十一、二点。
太多太多要做的事，没一件做得好。

也想了想往事。
好多遗憾，说真的。
没有像别人有多么精彩的中学生活。
没有交到很多朋友。
现在想一想，差不多20年了，
真心朋友没有几个。
有时有心事想讲一讲，
心里那几个人选，
不是知道“哦，那个人很忙，还是让他好好做功课”
就是觉得其实我的心事也不算什么，不讲也罢。
有时到了这样的时候，
我也不会说会把心事收在心里还是什么的，
就会选择不要去想它，
干脆去睡觉更实在。
也不知道这个方法好不好，
但我就是这样一路走了20年，
还没得自闭症，
那应该还好吧。
感觉我都是做人家的聆听者，
也许是习惯了吧。
听人家心事难听来讲，也许对自己的安慰，
觉得自己的心事真的不算什么。

当然也想到了未来。
未来我会做什么工，根本就想都不敢想。
走设计这条路，本来就会辛苦，
就业率地，找到份工，工作量多，工资少。
这些都是预了的。
只是在担心情况会更糟糕。
我想如果更糟的话，
可能会转行吧。
感情呢，
一切都好难说。
不像以前想谈恋爱就谈。
对我来说，要谈恋爱，就代表你要面对那张脸一辈子，
要跟她结婚生小孩。
不是吗？
如果只是单纯想试看看的心态，
那恋爱谈来干嘛？
浪费时间，金钱，青春。
可能还会结下一段不好的因缘。
何必呢？
但每个人都有自己的看法，
也许我这样想，害到我现在都还没遇到。
也许遇到了吧，
但因为个人因素，
决定把感情先放一边吧。

唉，多一个礼拜又要开学了。
希望能够好好地，没后悔地，
过完这个学期。

I'm Back!

Oh wow!
How long has it been?

So sorry for not updating for the past month.
was really really really busy with assignments and projects.

So,
umm where to start?

ok with assignments first,
first subject,
MORAL STUDIES.
was really bumped finding out my midterm exam score was a 7.6 out of 20,
2nd lowest in class.
all my friends help me to ask the lecturer to recheck,
because there's actually no way my marks will be that low.
first, i've double checked i didnt shade the wrong answer.
second, i've studied for the exam,
and even if i dont get a high score,
at least, at least i'll get half correct (10marks).
The lecturer told me that she will help me to recheck my marks,
but i dont know how it turned out.
As for my final exam though,
didnt really study for it bcz i was too busy for other assignments.
Moral was one of the subjects i aimed to get A this sem,
i guess it might turn out to be the worst subject this sem.

next, it's Visual Fundamentals.
posted so many portrait drawings on instagram,
showing my progress and (hopefully) my improvement,
the lecturer told me that i've improved a lot,
and is one of the most improved in the class.
was really flattered to hear that.
but the highest grade i got for the portrait assignments,
was only a B+. (sad)
But to compare with the others,
the best in class only got an A-,
and i'm considered in the front pack.
so i guess i'm doing fine.
For visual drawing though,
which require us to draw a scene with figures and perspective,
i'm not really good at that,
scores are average and grades are B.
but i think it's okay,
as long as i maintain getting Bs.

well next is Advertising Principles,
which is the subject i hate most.
we need to create an advertising campaign,
selling a product,
that i dont even know before we attend the class.
we need to do surveys,
proposals,
lots of refinement on proposals,
then ideas on the ad campaigns,
then print ads,
TVC storyboards,
radio ads,
ambient medias.
GOSHHH.
was in a group with mary,
and seriously our presentation sucks.
We were so unprepared,
not just us,
every group was unprepared.
it was the worst presentation ever, for me.
Had no script at all,
never rehearsed at all,
still refining our presentation slides 1 minute before the presentation.
BUTTT,
we still got 3rd place out of 10 groups for the presentation,,
so do imagine how bad we all presented.

next is Digital Photography,
which i'm most pleased.
Photography is one of my fav subjects,
and i've put so much effort into it.
but i'm only gonna show you my final 2 works.
the first one is our final group assignment,
which is Fashion Photography.
Our group didn't do well in the previous group assignments,
so as the group leader,
i kinda changed my strategy for the final shoot.
Previously,
everyone gave too much opinions,
so we turned out to be very lost.
but this time,
after we set a concept,
i suggested the "DOLL" idea,
and we just went with it.
This is the final group assignment,
but we had only one week to do it,
we had class on tuesday,
and for previous group assignments,
we would have a week for preparation,
and shoot on the following tuesday during class,
and submit on the 3rd tuesday.
but for this final group assignment,
we only had one week.
after the brief on tuesday,
we had to do all the preparations,
and book the studio or find a location to shoot within that week,
which is crazy,
because we had so many other assignments going on as well.
The day before the shoot,
preparation went chaotic,
we couldn't decide anything.
but on the day of the photoshoot,
i kinda take charge of everything.
i told them how to set up,
i instructed the make up,
i set the lighting,
i was the photographer as well.
and it turned out to be smoother than previous assignments.
so the moral story was,
if there're a few members that have lots of opinions,
yes, you can voice out the opinions,
but in the end,
there should be a person who decides everything.
and the result turned out to be surprisingly well,
got a 4.5 out of 5.

For my final project,
my topic was NEGATIVE SPACE.
FYI, negative space is the space around the focused subject.
and i kinda play around with the negative space.

During presentation day,
i didnt prepare for what i was going to say,
so i kinda just throw out whatever was on my mind.
after my presentation,
it was Q&A session from the classmates.
After Q&A,
it was the lecturer's turn to give comments.
i was really really scared,
because the classmates that presented before me,
got comments from the lecturer like,
"This is horrible."
"I don't like this."
so i was so worried that i will get feedbacks like that too.
then the lecturer finally spoked,
"I have only a few words for you."
.........
....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"I LIKE YOUR WORK."
what
the
helllll?????
OMGG i was so damn happy.
and he kept on saying,
"A great photographer will wait and capture perfection.
and zunyip did that."
I was like: WHUUUTTTT????
so so so happy.
ok anyway,
after everyone presented,
the lecturer asked us to wait outside,
so he can mark our work and give us our scores on the spot.
i was so damn nervous.
Summing up our individual assignments and group assignments,
me, samantha(top student) and burger(very talented student in photography),
scored 38 out of 50%,
highest in class,
but there were 37s, 36s, 35.5s, 35s,
all the marks were close.
But of course there were people who only scored 23, 24.
but anyway,
we were all guessing who will get the highest score.
and everyone pointed at me,
because my comments were the best (being perasan),
but yea it's true,
everyone else have critiques.
so i was really hoping out of 40% of the final project,
i can at least get a 32%.
oh yea and the remaining 10% is professional practice,
which involves attendance, punctuality, interaction in class and stuff like that.
so finally the scores are in,
my professional practice was a 9 out of 10%.
and my final project,
i got 34!!!!
4 categories:
technique- 9 /10%
creativity- 9/10%
finishing&presentation- 9/10%
weeklyprogress&development-7/10%
i only got a 7 for weekly progress because i changed my concept at the very last minute,
so i didnt show much progress and development,
but if i do,
i might even get more than 34!
but i'm really really happy with my results,
because i scored the highest in class!
81marks.
A-!!!! (4.0gpa *chaching*)
samantha (80.5)
burger (79.5)
both of them got A- too.

okay,
last and final subject,
Typography.
Don't wanna talk much about the earlier assignments.
Our final project was to creative a leaflet,
based on a typographer chosen,
and a font that typographer created.
so i chose Paul Renner and the font FUTURA.
The day before submission,
i went to the printing shop to print with my friends,
we went in around 3pm,
and they finished around 3.30pm,
because basically their leaflet design was much easier to print,
and it's very small,
so they don't have to combine it.
Mine was quite long,
so i had to do extra work.
Failed 4 times,
and the when i finished the 5th one,
i realized it was already 8pm.
5 hours in the printing shop,
kept on failing.
imagine how frustrated i was.
Even the manager of the shop came to ask me to redo a smaller version of the leaflet.
But the quote Never Give Up paid off,
and during the day of submission,
the lecturer told us she will choose the best 9 leaflets and to put into archive.
and i was one of the top 9.
phew~.

The 2 subjects i like the most,
and i think 2 of my strongest subjects,
photography and typography,
i think i did well. (i hope)

oh yea by the way,
for typography,
2 students from our class failed,
and they won't be joining us next sem.
They will be joining the may intake badge.
It was really shocking,
but the lecturer told us it was normal,
every badge,
there're people who fail this subject.
some even failed 3 times.
and the lecturer also told us we will face a lecturer next sem,
also teaching typography,
he once only let 3 out of 20 students passed that subject,
the rest failed.
OMFG.
so it's not weird seeing half of the class get flushed off next sem.
hopefully it won't.
*fingers crossed*

Okay,
so that's basically all for my assignments and subjects this semester.

now,
what else to talk about for this comeback post?

well alright,
you guys might have noticed,
recently i often post pictures of a group of 4,
me, 2 guys and 1 girl.
the girl is mary,
and the guys are burger and worm.
okay.
stop laughing.
i know they have funny names lol.
worm and mary are a newly couple.
*congratss*
yea basically me and mary kinda join these 2 guys more often recently,
because idk,
i felt comfortable being around them.
but we're still close with the other classmates,
but yea we kinda hang out more often with the guys.

and some of you might noticed,
i sometimes tend to be abit emo.
on twitter especially.
idk why,
maybe the stress is getting to me.
really wanna try to be able to control the stress.
but to think that from next sem onwards,
it'll be hardcore sleepless nights,
stress started piling up automatically.
our seniors told us to really enjoy this sem break,
because next sem will be a killer 3 and a half months.
:(

and oh yea,
still single,
maybe not quite available,
because of all the assignments going on,
i dont wanna neglect my future gf.
lol #wtfamitalkingabout
but yea feel free to recommend someone for me.
pretty dried up right here.

and luckily no family issues lately.
i guess my parents are very considerate,
and yea i dont have to do housework HAHA,
cause they know i have lots of assignments.
yea my mom will like bring me milo once in awhile,
or talk to me when i'm upset.
so i feel like they're indirectly motivating me,
and giving me a push when i'm about to fall everytime.

and i really missed my high school friends.
it's KB's carnival tomorrow.
finally,
get to go back to the school,
although it's gonna be hot and sweaty and crowded,
but i really missed that feeling.
2 years ago,
we were rushing for the preparation of the tent at cshen's house.
and had so much fun.
missed the old days.
but yay,
get to see the old faces tomorrow.
:D


okay ngpuikhay,
if this is not long enough,
i dont know what's long in definition ady okayy.
cshen,
system updated lahhh kayyy.

:)

PRAY FOR MH370

i feel really bad when i whine about how suffered i am with my assignments,
but at this very moment,
hundreds of families are in a state much much worse than me.

how many people rather do 100 times more assignments,
than being where they are now.

Dead or survived,
we don't know yet.

the only thing we can do is,
pray for them,
hope they come back safely.

not sure why i have this feeling,
really really sad.
it's like i have some special connection with this case.
can't stop thinking about it.

i really really hope for a miracle.

#fingerscrossed
#prayforMH370

BAD DAY

really bad day.
everything just seems to go really wrong.

assignments
group assignments
family
friends
health
temper

nothing is right.

had a really bad mood today.
lied on the sofa,
looking up to the ceiling.
telling myself to chill,
to relax,
and everything is going to be okay.
it didn't work.
the moment i got up from the sofa,
it seems like everything is worse.

gosh.
i need a life too.
what's with all the stress that is wasting my time,
wasting my life.

once in awhile,
i feel like giving up.
i really do.
why torture yourself,
when you can live an easier life?

sigh"
i really hope "tomorrow is a brand new day" quote really works.
it won't,
because i know the first thing i'll do when i wake up tomorrow morning is.
sigh/
and just freakin' murmur "I HATE MY LIFE."

there's no soul inside of me telling me that
so many other people are less fortunate than me,
and i'm still here complaining.
well,
you can have my life,
and you'll know it's not any better.

gahhhh.
just need to freakin' crawl till
at least
graduation.

life will be different after that.

new place.
new environment.
new people.
new faces.

new life.

:/

TRUE SELF?

sometimes in life,
the people you thought you can trust,
might not be.

only until now,
i know everyone has 2 sides.
a side that tries to impress,
a side he/she wants to hide.

i hate people who acted all innocent and fine in front of people.
but secretly is not that innocent at all.
i hate people who thinks he/she is so optimistic,
but in reality they are the ones who thinks about everything so much, they turn into freakin maniacs.
i hate people who tries to leave a super good impression of himself/herself,
just to make people stand on their side.

seriously,
people,
grow up.
do yourself a favour.
or you'll be the one to hate one day,
i'll promise you that.

I NEED A GUIDE

sometimes,

i feel i need someone to give me a book,

so i can so whatever it says,

to keep myself on track,

so i won't get lost.

i'm tired of banging wall after wall.

i don't wanna repeat things that i've done wrong,

i don't wanna be afraid of what will come next,

i just need a book to tell me what to do.

really stressful recently,

don't know how should i adjust myself,

body condition is not well,

mentally super exhausted,

only get 3-4 hours of sleep everyday.

ugh.

i don't know why am i writing this.

i guess i just need some sleep.

zzz

Sick

i guess it's the stress,

and all the unwanted anger i was going through this couple of weeks,

lead to a fever at a very bad timing.

i guess working too hard is not what i need,

because somehow i dont think i can cope with it.

skipping one day class made me feel like a loser,

like i'm way behind of everyone else.

gahhhh..

should've went although wasn't quite feeling well.

Mom was worried it might be dengue fever,

if it is,

i'd be doomed.

really need to take care of my health,

while rushing all the assignments.

Health comes first, always.

Deep thoughts

didnt know time passed so fast,
was standing in the shower,
let the water flow down from my head to my toes,
for an hour.
fingers went wrinkled.
whole body turned red,
because of the warm water i was bathing with.

in that hour,
i thought alot.
felt sorry about what i've said about u.
although i'm still super pissed,
i dont think i should've said things like that.




im really super stressful.
i dont know how to face you anymore.
when i see you,
everything bad about you just rushes through my brain.

i didnt want this to happen.
not like that.

i really hope you understand what you need to do.
what you need to work for.

otherwise,
i dont know whats gonna happen between us.

谁变了？

曾经是非常要好的朋友，
现在表面上感觉彼此都在装，
但说实话，
我能把你的头砸烂的话，
我早就那么做了。

没有试过对一个人那么反感过。
又嚣张又自以为是，
说要努力，
什么鬼都没做的人，
呸！

同组就算我衰运了，
好好提醒要做的事，
一拖再拖。
拖出来的东西，
屁酱的东西，
自己要重新帮你做过。

有眼睛的人，
应该都可以看到我对你的忍耐程度。
不是不想好好跟你相处，
不是不要跟你一起同组讨论功课。
是你的性格问题，
我真的受不了。

讲句难听话，
你自己成绩不理想，
你不介意就算了，
但请你不要拖累其他想要努力的人。

我知道不只我跟你提过，
已经第二年了，
是时候专心了，
是时候拼命了。
好心提醒你被你说成诋毁你的人格。
我无语了。

忍耐是有限的。
迟早一天不是吵架，
就是我大发泄。
我不想看到到时的我。
请你不要让我见到。

写这封给你看到，
我也死定。
所以希望你不要看到。
就当做让我发泄发泄。

黎骏业，
再忍忍吧。

Motivation

Hold on...

Heartbeat raised.

Face blushed.

Started babbling.

umm.
ummmm.
ummmmmm.


Have i?

Have i met?

*giggles*

It's just the matter of time,
that i'll prove to you i can do it.
You hang in there,
wait for me.
:*)

CHINESE NEW YEAR

so sorry, i haven't wish all my readers a very happy chinese new year.
bu not very happy for me.
i consider this chinese new year a bad one.

bad date, less holidays,
falls on wrong semester, 'cause 10 figure portraits for homework this week,
bad luck, lose every single gamble,
everything just seems so wrongggg.

3rd day just finished,
i hope tomorrow will be a better one,
at least let me enjoy one good day of chinese new year.

but it freakin' sucks to know that i have 10 more portraits to go,
and i have to submit on wednesday.
gahhhhhhhhh.

please please please.
i deserve a better chinese new year than this.
please.

imma go cry in bed now.
good night.
:(

APPRECIATE

my relatives came to my place
for an ordinary-saturday-night-yamcha-session.
i was sitting beside them doing my assignment,
at the same time,
listening to what they were talking about.

there's something that one of my aunt told,
i felt sorry for her,
felt sad for her.

i hope she doesn't sees this.


my aunt and my uncle has a really weird relationship.
they don't sleep together anymore at night,
and they fight a lot.

my uncle is an alcoholic,
he can be drunk at 4pm in the afternoon.
he often come home really late at midnight,
really drunk,
and my aunt will scold him for doing that.

they have 2 daughters.
both maybe influenced by my aunt,
have a disrespectful attitude towards my uncle.
when my uncle wanted to be close with them sometimes,
they asked him to go away.

so it's weird that,
if we blame my uncle,
it's not totally his fault,
because the kids and my aunt don't respect him,
no matter how he is,
he's still the father.
but if we blame my aunt and the kids,
the behaviour that my uncle has,
is unreasonable too.

things were like this for quite some time,
a few years.

my aunt felt like if my uncle wants to continue drinking for the rest of his life,
she can't do anything too.
as long as if he pays the bills,
pays the school fees,
pays for their daily needs,
it's fine.

until something happened.

before telling what happened,
i gotta introduce the daughter.
one of their daughters,
as some of you might know,
she is hyperactive,
since born.
she can't take much sugar,
because she will go hyper,
can't focus in class,
non-stop playing until she's really really exhausted.
she's also the cousin i mentioned to some of you before,
the one who takes tuition classes with me.

so,
something happened to her weeks ago.
she has this illness called epilepsy.
in mandarin we call it 发羊癫.
she started shaking,
biting her tongue,
but she was unconscious.

until today,
it happened 3 times.

but the worst part is,
the father didn't do his part.
as a father,
when you come home from work,
you should at least ask is the daughter ok?
did it happen?
he didn't ask at all.
didn't really care much.

during the weekends,
he rather go drink with his friends,
than staying home with the family.

i felt really sad when my aunt told us this.
i can feel how tired she is,
not only need to take care of my cousin,
but also need to handle the my uncle.
she said although my cousin sleeps beside her,
but every night,
she prays and prays,
hoping it won't happen when she's sleeping.
because if she bites off her tongue,
she might die.

she told us she can't sleep well at all,
a slight movement will always wake her up,
a tiny sound will keep her awake.
i can tell she's really really exhausted.

i understand how she feels.
because there's this one time,
after we finished our tuition class,
i was having a headache,
and i wanted to take a nap.
but me and her,
we were the only ones at home.
i was so worried when i sleep,
and it happened,
i might need to carry the responsibility afterwards.
so i lie down on the sofa,
i asked her to watch tv,
and i held her hand,
and asked her not to go anywhere.
so if i sleep,
and if it happens,
at least i can feel it.

i did fell asleep afterwards,
but woke up so many times,
because i was so scared that it might happen.

so i really sympathizes my aunt,
because she has to go through this every night.


i can't do anything.
i can't lecture my uncle.
i guess it's just a lesson for all of us to appreciate what we have,
love our family,
and do whatever it takes to protect them.

Few happy hours

although it's just a couple of hours,
but in that few hours,
i was really happy.
finally out from all of the stress that i'm going through.

i was waiting for this moment for so long,
and didnt want it to end so quickly.
chatting with them makes me forget all the bad things,
talking about old stuff,
and also talking about future stuffs,
so sad that it had to end.

we'll meet up again soon.
we will.
:)

Direction

today was kinda weird.
felt great but don't know why.

i guess i've found my direction,
the right way to get myself out of this mess.
to really appreciate the ones that are worthy,
and place the hate aside.

perhaps god is giving me a sign,
telling me this is what's best for me.
this is what i should be doing.

i hope it won't let me down,
i hope i'm really on the right path.
i really do.

路过的？还是永久的？

快十九岁了，
说长不长，
说短不短，
毕竟都活了十九年，
该见的都见得七七八八。

看了一部影片，
非常有感触。
人随着年龄增长，
认识的人会越来越多，
但朋友会越来越少。
这句话很有意思。

我们交的每个朋友，
都是个缘分，
世界上有那么多人，
为什么偏偏遇到的是他？

为什么偏偏喜欢的是他？
为什么偏偏看不顺眼的是他？
为什么偏偏撞倒的是他？
为什么偏偏出糗的时候，看到的是他？

我相信世上有两种缘分，
那当然就是好的跟坏的啦。
如果生下来注定不能当情侣，
再怎么勉强，到最后也会失败。
如果是注定成为一辈子的好朋友，
即使发生了一场误会，一件搞到不欢而散的事情，
最终还是会忘掉那件事，成为好朋友。

我听过一句话，
朋友能去争取，
但缘分是逼不来的。
如果不是命中注定，
就不要勉强。
不要因为曾经说过friends forever，或i love u forever,
而拼死命要守住那段感情，
该放开的始终还是得放开。

总的来说，
随缘吧。

Confused.

i seriously don't know what else i can do.
it just sucks having the feeling that i've done my best,
but don't receive the same back.
it kills me when i thought of what we went through,
and now it ends up like this.

you do know i can just give up.
i don't need you to feel better, or make my life any better.
but i'm still hanging on to this,
hoping that i get some positive feedback,
at least just a little bit,
showing at least you still care.

keep telling myself to just do my part,
and let god settle the rest.
it's either we're destined for this,
but we're just going through a bad time.
or god just send you down to me to crush me,
to test my patience,
well if that's so,
you know i won't lose this fight.
i'm just gonna be me,
and the rest is up to you.

Again

ugh it's been a really stressful week.
no one could ever imagine how bad it was.

with all the assignments,
with all the pressure from all kind of sources,
with all the self-requirements,
i dont think it's working well as i expected.

last night,
i left an unfinished figure portrait on my desk,
and went to bed because i was too tired.
i startled awake and was really scared at the moment,
i washed my face,
and went to finish the figure portrait.
then,
only i was able to sleep peacefully.

my mom told me it was too much,
i've put too much pressure on myself,
some of my friends said that i've became an emo king,
because i wasn't smiling and talking much like i used to be.

so what now?
i can't just give up on my new year's resolution on just the 11th day of the year right?

ugh. it's just so pressuring.

charlie brown by coldplay played,
my tears that i kept for YEARS burst out and i cant help it.
for those who have known me for years,
still i dont think anyone saw me cried before.
not to say i'm not sensitive,
perhaps inside of me i was able to find a spot to just keep the bad stuffs,
stuffs that make me sad or angry,
stuffs that make me feel like crying,
that's why i really don't remember when was the last time i really cried.
probably 5 or 6 years ago?
i'm serious.

it's like after all those years,
finally,
i cant find anywhere to hide the pressure,
hide the stupid feelings that i have.
and it's like when i started crying,
everything else from the past just started flowing out together.

felt so much better afterwards.
had a thought in mind,
whatever i'm going through,
millions out there in the world might go through 10 times worse than me.
and i know there are people that cares about me,
and i dont want them to be worried.

picked up my pillow,
went to my mom's room,
since dad was in outstation,
i went to sleep by her side.
she was nagging about how she cant sleep well because i woke her up bla bla.
i didnt tell her i cried,
instead i just kept quiet,
listening to all the nagging that was going on,
i couldnt felt any happier.

those nags are annoying,
but we don't know how much longer we can hear'em.
took the time to just listen to it,
felt loved.

woke up,
everything's still the same,
except that i have a different mindset now.

i dont push myself to what i want,
i will push myself to what i can,
as long as i do my best,
i have no regrets.

so now,
let's pick it all up,
and run AGAIN.

:)

Bad Week

i know i've said that 2014 will be my year,
i've said i have a feeling it's gonna be a good one.
but it turns out to be slightly wrong on the very first week.

GAHHH
had a rough week,
can't wait for the week to end,
and start all over next week.
can't draw well, can't think well, can't sleep well.

lots and lots of problems going on.
in school,
in my head,
urgh i just wish i can go back to high school and just
sleep all the problems out.

sleeping in high school is kinda my thing,
love it.
although i wake up sweating every single time,
but you know although the world around you is really busy,
but you get to have this few minutes of peace to yourself,
to not think about anything at all.

:(
i just need some time with my old friends now.
waiting for a day where we don't have to plan any activities,
just sit down and just talk about everything.

:(

Assignments

just the 3rd day of class,
assignments start to flow in.
6 figures in a week, for the whole sem, wth.

moral studies' presentation topic is given also.
everything is moving so fast.

i can feel it's gonna be a hectic sem.

D:

first day

to me,
i thought it didn't start off as i expected.

a lot said i've changed,
or i've gone emotional,
but i wasn't.
not at all.

it's the first day,
but i wasn't as exciting as i hoped.
was sitting in the corner,
waiting for some craziness to take over,
but it didn't.
friends catching up with each other,
i just had to listen,
didn't have much to say.
but i wasn't emotional.
if i was,
i wouldn't have speak at all.

perhaps it's for the best,
then i have the time to really focus on myself,
not too much,
just a little bit.
to find the balance back,
to make me better.

it's time for a change

it's a new year,
i want myself to look more mature, think more mature, and act more mature.
dont let stupid little things get in the way,
it's not worth it having these things ruin my year.

2014,
i can feel it,
it's gonna be my year.
it's the year i will soar,
it's the time for me to shine.
and i won't let anything get in the way.

stay optimistic.
:)

Year 2 Sem 1

so college reopens tomorrow.
it's moral studies for the first day.
although not very psyched about it,
but i know i have to ace this subject.

anyway,
school starts tomorrow.
2 months of holidays bores the crap outta me.
finally back to college.
don't know what to expect,
but definitely aiming for something.

might see a new me? i hope.
the one who listen to the lecture instead of playing phone games, chatting, waiting for time to pass.
the one who finish his assignment early instead of lots of last minute work.
the one who gives the best presentation instead of always envy the ones who are better.

i'm all revved up for it.
NEW YEAR,
NEW START,
NEW ME.

Girlfriend?

2014,
i'm considered, well, 19 years old already?
soon to enter the 20's.
and well,
i'm still single and available.

adults,
like my uncles and aunts will keep on babbling about
why haven't i bring home a girl and stuff like that,
even my mom.

my mom even asked me in private,
am i gay?
well,
i'm not.
but still,
why no girlfriend?

asked myself?
why not yet?
it's not like there's no one out there whom i think is really my type and stuff,
i just don't think it's time yet y'know?
and i don't think i've met the one who's really special,
and gives me the really special feeling to go after her yet.

maybe i always give myself an excuse.
that excuse is "i'm gonna be someone new when i'm come back from overseas"
which means i'm waiting for the moment to completely change my whole image.
in that year,
perhaps i'll go body building, to look stronger,
maybe a different hairstyle,
and maybe,
meet someone special.

and maybe i'm not confident enough.
girls might say i'm too short,
maybe a little too skinny,
not that typical 180cm hunk they like.


well anyways,
i'll meet someone when it's time.
maybe i've met her,
but timing is always the most important.
who knows it's perhaps my neighbour?
or my classmate?
or my cousin's....... cousin???
whatever,
but yea, i know she's out there someone,
perhaps waiting for me as well. *shyshy*

2014 is finally here!

new year,
new beginnings,
new aims,
new targets,
new sets of goals,
new dreams,
new memories.

although some things from 2013 will drag us along the way,
something that keep us from walking straight,
but we still have to move on and let go at some point.

so i wish everyone out there in the world,
a better life, happier life, healthier life.

<3