APPRECIATE

my relatives came to my place
for an ordinary-saturday-night-yamcha-session.
i was sitting beside them doing my assignment,
at the same time,
listening to what they were talking about.

there's something that one of my aunt told,
i felt sorry for her,
felt sad for her.

i hope she doesn't sees this.


my aunt and my uncle has a really weird relationship.
they don't sleep together anymore at night,
and they fight a lot.

my uncle is an alcoholic,
he can be drunk at 4pm in the afternoon.
he often come home really late at midnight,
really drunk,
and my aunt will scold him for doing that.

they have 2 daughters.
both maybe influenced by my aunt,
have a disrespectful attitude towards my uncle.
when my uncle wanted to be close with them sometimes,
they asked him to go away.

so it's weird that,
if we blame my uncle,
it's not totally his fault,
because the kids and my aunt don't respect him,
no matter how he is,
he's still the father.
but if we blame my aunt and the kids,
the behaviour that my uncle has,
is unreasonable too.

things were like this for quite some time,
a few years.

my aunt felt like if my uncle wants to continue drinking for the rest of his life,
she can't do anything too.
as long as if he pays the bills,
pays the school fees,
pays for their daily needs,
it's fine.

until something happened.

before telling what happened,
i gotta introduce the daughter.
one of their daughters,
as some of you might know,
she is hyperactive,
since born.
she can't take much sugar,
because she will go hyper,
can't focus in class,
non-stop playing until she's really really exhausted.
she's also the cousin i mentioned to some of you before,
the one who takes tuition classes with me.

so,
something happened to her weeks ago.
she has this illness called epilepsy.
in mandarin we call it 发羊癫.
she started shaking,
biting her tongue,
but she was unconscious.

until today,
it happened 3 times.

but the worst part is,
the father didn't do his part.
as a father,
when you come home from work,
you should at least ask is the daughter ok?
did it happen?
he didn't ask at all.
didn't really care much.

during the weekends,
he rather go drink with his friends,
than staying home with the family.

i felt really sad when my aunt told us this.
i can feel how tired she is,
not only need to take care of my cousin,
but also need to handle the my uncle.
she said although my cousin sleeps beside her,
but every night,
she prays and prays,
hoping it won't happen when she's sleeping.
because if she bites off her tongue,
she might die.

she told us she can't sleep well at all,
a slight movement will always wake her up,
a tiny sound will keep her awake.
i can tell she's really really exhausted.

i understand how she feels.
because there's this one time,
after we finished our tuition class,
i was having a headache,
and i wanted to take a nap.
but me and her,
we were the only ones at home.
i was so worried when i sleep,
and it happened,
i might need to carry the responsibility afterwards.
so i lie down on the sofa,
i asked her to watch tv,
and i held her hand,
and asked her not to go anywhere.
so if i sleep,
and if it happens,
at least i can feel it.

i did fell asleep afterwards,
but woke up so many times,
because i was so scared that it might happen.

so i really sympathizes my aunt,
because she has to go through this every night.


i can't do anything.
i can't lecture my uncle.
i guess it's just a lesson for all of us to appreciate what we have,
love our family,
and do whatever it takes to protect them.